Monday, August 05, 2002

A'IGHT, y'all's gotta know some THINGS about HORACE. HORACE is a man of the ladies, THAT IS TO BE KNOWN AND RESPECTED. But lately all these ladies been givin' HORACE sass about different shit.

HORACE AIN'T TO BE SASSED.

Sassafrass.

I tell you now, sure as my name is HORACE, if you're a lady and you lookin' to MAKE BABIES with HORACE, HORACE ain't COOL with that.

It don't FLY with HORACE.

So that's one thing you gotta KNOW.

NO BABIES.

ANOTHER THING: If you already got a HANDFUL of babies, HORACE ain't down with YOU and HORACE ain't interested in makin' no MO' babies.

NO MOMMYS.

Also, HORACE finds that he is ALLERGIC to 3/4 of the SEAFOOD he's tried.

NO SEAFOOD.

Sunday, August 04, 2002

A'IGHT. HORACE done went to the market tonight. HORACE bought peas and apples and LIQUOR.

HORACE starts makin' eyes at the cute little cashier girl, right? HORACE is all, "Wussup girl? Damn. How you wanna be lookin so DAMN fine? You gonna give HORACE a piece of that, OR IS HORACE HAFTA BREAK IT OF FOR HIS SELF?"

Bitch goes all HAYWIRE and shit.

"BLAH BLAH FREAKIN' BLAH I'm a LADY! Back up off this!"

Damn!

HORACE ain't want nothin' more than what GOD intended for him to have! HORACE smooth as HELL.

Damn...

Still though, girl was FINE.

HORACE OUT.